Meeting a Need

No matter how much they may enjoy having fun with different people when young, most people eventually reach a stage where they want to settle down and spend the rest of their lives with one special person. This is the reason why most of us get married. It’s easier to cope with the stresses and strains of life as part of a team; it can be wonderful to make a family together; and it’s always good to have that special person to come home to at the end of a long working day. But the western tradition of monogamous marriage demands more than just this. It demands that we also deal with all our sexual needs with just that one person. And that can create a strain which causes many otherwise healthy marriages to break.


Despite the prevalence of sexual imagery in popular magazines, on television and in advertising, most of us still find it hard to talk about our sexual needs. We see them as somehow dirty, as an inappropriate subject even in the most intimate company. Many of us find it hardest of all to discuss them with our spouses, where we have the most to lose. Controversial topics like married dating may in fact be easier to talk about than the underlying problems. So can married dating offer a solution?


No matter how hard we may try to avoid it, it’s easy to get into a fixed way of doing things when always sleeping with the same person. We find the things we like, or the things we’re willing to settle for, and stick with them. Attempts to spice this up can feel awkward and too artificial, and we may also lack the confidence to take the lead in doing other things if it’s been a long time since we had any practice. Married dating can offer an opportunity to rediscover your sexuality without breaking up that most important relationship. Because you’ll be introducing a new person into the equation, you won’t necessarily have to be the one who initiates new things. If you meet your dates through a specialist venue like they’ll understand your situation and will be patient whilst you adjust.


Married dating can present an ideal opportunity to explore sexual interests which you may not have had the chance to explore in your youth. It can be particularly helpful to people who have got married without having any prior sexual experience, or with only very limited experience, and can help them to work out what it is they really want from sexual encounters. Rather than leading to frustration with the marital situation, this can in fact help to renew a married couple’s interest in each other and help them to develop new forms of intimacy. Where one partner has always had to take the lead it can lead to a more equal relationship.


Because our sexuality and our sexual desires continue to develop throughout our lives, a relationship which seemed to provide everything when you first got into it may later prove unable to satisfy your passions. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship has failed or that your spouse has let you down – simply that you’ve changed as a person. Perhaps your spouse has stayed as slim and attractive as ever but you’ve increasingly found yourself attracted to more voluptuous people; or perhaps you want to try something kinky which your partner has no interest in. Married dating can make this possible, and in giving free reign to your desires you may well find that they are not as overwhelming as they seemed when you were trying to ignore them. When, through married dating, you are able to find an outlet for your conflicting feelings, you may find that you are once again able to properly enjoy sex with your spouse.


Married dating can also be a means for couples to explore their sexuality together. When both partners engage in married dating they can get together again afterwards to discuss what they’ve learned and how they feel about it. This is itself can provide an erotic boost to a relationship. It can also help them to understand each other’s interests and desires without having to address their own sexual interaction directly. It can be a useful way for them to exchange ideas about things they might try together.


Sometimes there are insoluble problems with the sexual aspects of a marriage. One partner might have sexual interests which the other just doesn’t feel comfortable being involved with, or one partner might have a sex drive which is much stronger than the other’s. Married dating can offer a long term solution in situations like this, providing an outlet for sexual appetites which could otherwise lead to resentment. Sex drive, too, varies over the course of life, and it can be affected by all sorts of factors (such as pregnancy, medication, menopause and stress at work), so a couple who are a good match to begin with may not always be so. However, being sexually less compatible doesn’t mean ceasing to love or support each other, and married dating can be the perfect complement to a marriage of this kind.


Even if a marriage becomes completely sexless, many couples find that they want to stay together. After all, falling in love and making a commitment are about much more than just sexual desire. But it’s quite natural to want to experience sexual satisfaction, regardless of your circumstances. Married dating can provide a healthy, respectful way of resolving this problem which doesn’t involve recourse to prostitution and all its associated ills. What’s more, it can lead to the development of new social contacts and can enrich the life that a couple share. Most people want to see their spouses happy. Married dating can let that happiness happen whilst they stay together.


No matter how committed you are to your spouse and no matter how much you love them, it’s not always necessary – or practical – to be monogamous. Give married dating a try and you may find that it gives your marriage a new lease of life.

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